What I Really Want From WikiLeaks

Ok Wikileaks, yeah you've revealed some decent intel' I'll give you that but not the real meat. Let's start of 2011 with what we all really want to know from your amassed secret documents:

• Moon landing, just end the madness right now.
• Wilford Brimley, zombie?
• Do otters have mind control?
• Area 51, alien research facility or large mini-mall that time forgot?
• What is the percentage of evil in all clowns?
• Dinosaurs, where is the island? We've already seen the movie.
• Jet Packs, when and how much?
• The application of a 'talking stick' in concept meetings -- genius or simply something to hit an AE with?
• When will someone assissinate the cast of 'Jersey Shore?' Oh and Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan and the monopoly of "Twilight."
• Will Facebook reveal itself to be a giant earth-protecting Transformer when we need it most?
• Where are the missing Bob Crane sex tapes?
• Cricket, sport or no?
• When will the Wii control come with taze function?
• Jimmy Hoffa, dead or elderly gas station attendant?
• Is Coca-Cola secret ingredient really "love?"
• Where's Eddie Murphy's career?
• Was it maddness or Sparta?
• Sandals and socks, can anything be done?
• Will the Arc of the Covenant really melt your face off?
• Will New World Order really begin with an army of unicorns?
• TSA pat-downs, security or sexy-time?
• Are Dorito's Spicy Sweet Chili really a false flag operation bent on addiction?
• President Abraham Lincoln, Myan warrior sent from back in time to right the wrongs of his forefathers?
• Is the Antichrist, also known as the Beast 666 a member of the cast from "Glee?"
• Who put the chip in my brain and can I get it upgraded?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transformers_%28film%29

Comments

[Matt]

You forgot the second shooter on the grassy knoll.

[Justice Mitchell]

I want to know if the shooter was actually a "grassy mole", that's the real dirt Matthew.

Cheers!

[Mari]

If Wikileaks doesn't get these answers for us, I'm moving to Wikipedia.

[Justice Mitchell]

Mari,

Astute point. But we must give Wikileaks at least the old "college try." I've checked my inbox aggressively since this post and nothing as of yet.

[Jessica]

This made me laugh! Thank you :) Hope you and your family had a great Christmas and New Years!

[Justice Mitchell]

Jess,

I'm glad it gave you a giggle. It was fun to write. I wrote a bunch of weird posts for my new facto profile account too. Have you played with facto.me yet? Fun!