Quick Hit From Vegas

Here's a few things that I learned from my recent trip to Vegas.

• Holy crap has everything gone downhill!
• The 'City Center' (and their casinos) are now the prime Jewel of the strip just edging out the Wynn & The Encore
• The casinos plan heavily for Chinese new year
• There are so many Cirque du Soleil shows they're no longer special
• There are two kinds of drinkers, those who cannot find a scantly clad waitress to serve them something for free and those with a plastic "yard" in the shape of a titty sucking down grain alcohol
• The closer you walk to Las Vegas BLVD. the closer you come to depravity and emotional doom
• Finest line from a pan-handler selling bottled water "the water is free ladies, it's just a one dollar handling fee"
• A new coat of paint does not equal a renovation
• All cab drivers should be put on suicide watch
• People don't know how to have fun anymore
• "Porn Slappers" (these are the people that slap escort service flyers at you on the strip as you walk by) do not clean up bygone marketing materials
• Smokers you are a dying breed even in Vegas
• You can get away with shooting cell phone pictures in the casino, but the same cannot be said for USING a cell phone while playing in a casino
• Less social media advocacy than I would have imagined from casinos
• Although more location-based services (LBS) offers than I would have thought
• There still are black-tie events that are not weddings
• There's nothing funnier than drunk women fighting their CFMP's trying to fall into an elevator
• Asian card dealers will take all your money
• Betting 'with the craps table' is still the best way to enjoy the game
• Penny slots are treated like the plague; while $1 slots are now treated as the default rate
• Vegas is still not family friendly
• There are far more coffee shops in casinos now
• People really do get up at 7AM to workout in the fitness center
• Don't even look at the mini-bar unless your Indiana Jones and you have a bag of sand
• The Excalibur, New York New York, The Flamingo, Circus Circus (anything Bally's) and the Stratosphere all need summoned back to Satan
• All the servers hate you
• Tip the cleaning staff and you'll win more mini shampoos than a slot machine on a progressive payout
• Don't quote "The Hangover" if you don't want pee in your drink
• Aria Hotel & Casino and Wynn's "Encore" are top-notch
• No, you'll never be able to afford that necklace
• Two words: "hand sanitizer"

Comments

[Jessica]

I would also like to add: The increase of non-prostitutes going without underwear while wearing short skirts and riding escalators.

[Justice Mitchell]

Jess,

As always an astute comment. It's not that the offer of money after a free drink binge and a run of bad luck at the penny slots wouldn't make them rethinking their position on prostitution however. I think my fav' image is the group over morbidly obese craps player that had chairs pulled up to the table and their plastic drinks standing next them so they didn't have to stand was pretty good. Ah, the classiness was in abundance.

[Jessica]

Hahahaha I prefer the vegas portrayed in movies better lol...and regarding your family friendly comment....WHO TAKES THEIR KIDS TO VEGAS?? Unless you are trying to teach them about human anatomy, and also a science lesson about the effect of alcohol.

[Justice Mitchell]

Jess,

I agree. Grandma and Grandpa had Sydney for the weekend. But seriously I saw TONS of kids. And there's nothing for them to do really. But damn if people didn't do it.

"See Jimmy you never double-down on a pair of tens and here's why..."

Lord Save us and level that goofy place. Of course I'll go back ;) though.